How to Choose Your Attitude

At work yesterday, for a Professional Development, we watched this video about consciously choosing how to think and how to feel. It was from a commencement speech by David Foster Wallace, who, as some of my coworkers mentioned, ended up killing himself in 2008.  (This is sad, but it does not undermine his message. The man was incredibly smart and probably had a very overactive mind.)

The words in this video reminded me about why I try to do yoga and meditate. Because if I don’t consciously take charge of and take responsibility for my thoughts and feelings, then the automatic “default settings” of my brain will take over. These default settings are often egotistical, negative, and fear-based. If I want to be peaceful, kind, and content, I must choose the thoughts that come from a deeper, more intuitive place-- the thoughts that are inspiring, positive, and love-based.

Now that sounds wonderful and lofty, but how do you actually do it? How do you train your mind to stop a thought stream in its tracks and choose another focus?

Two things: awareness and practice.

The first step is simple awareness. When you are caught in a thought stream that produces negative feelings or makes your muscles unconsciously contract, notice. Noticing adds a dimension of presence and awareness to your unconscious habit of compulsive thinking. If you can notice, you are conscious enough to make a change. Noticing is the first step, but it is also the most difficult. So often we get wrapped up in our thoughts and interpretations that we believe they are true.

Practice is the second step. It takes practice to become aware of the breath and the body in general. A few times a day, practice some deep and relaxing breaths. Roll the shoulders back and notice if there is unnecessary tension in the shoulders or the jaw or the face. Do your best to relax that unnecessary tension as you breath. Every cell in your body always responds to every single thought in your head, so the body can communicate whether you are in a state of relaxed awareness or a state of unconscious upset.

If this is a new practice, try to integrate it into a tedious daily task like washing dishes or driving. See if you can breathe and relax and become truly present in this task. This can transform the tedium into a zen project.  

Another possible solution:

I came across a free app called Headspace this week. It introduces quick and easy meditation techniques that can transform your day from unconscious to intentional. It’s great for beginners who have no experience with mediation. If you want to try it, make the commitment to do it for at least 5 consecutive days. This will help you to make it a habit and stick with it. It also helps to do it first thing in the morning if possible.

There are probably countless other apps, websites, and other resources that can help you to maintain a conscious awareness. Whatever you choose, make it a part of your ritual and you will start to see your perspective and your life transform.